Marriage season. Festivities. You’re the bride. So many of us have been there, but being so close to the D-day it sure is more than just butterflies. You see that’s the simplest answer the bride can give to everyone asking “How does it feel?”. But its a lot more than that.
It’s a whirlwind. You’re seeing the days pass you by at a lightning pace. Now you always knew the date and were counting it down every time you meet friends. Besties would go a step further and remind you anyways.”So! 1 month left for the big day. All ready?”. “Well not quite, you see there’s so much!”
Truth is you will never be ready. No matter how much of a control freak you are. There is a little bit of knit picking in every thing around you. Some of my friends say they began preparations months before. However being the last minute fix-it persona I’ve been all along, everything can get done is my approach. In fact, there’s a solution for every problem i quip to family. But family, you see its more stress for them. While i sit in the corner and nibble away on small portions, i watch the grand opera unfold. So what is it exactly that I’m feeling?
Absurd. Excited. Attached. Nostalgic. Nervous. It feels weird to look around and think that just one day later, things will change. I’m not afraid of change, its always required and should be welcomed. I know that responsibilities will increase. There is a lot more at stake now you see. Given the traditions we are bound with there are a lot of expectations to be met. Every time i meet someone and they see the cross cultural affair (quite clearly a punjabi marrying a bengali), they gush “love marriage”? In most situations i don’t know what to refer to Arijit as. Sometimes i begin with ‘My fiance’ and other times ‘My boyfriend’. Elders remind, ‘Beta you must always say fiance’. I don’t see how that’s always mentioned because any marriage is the coming together of two people and don’t couples in “arranged marriages” have a courtship period? I’m sure they find love there to actually go to the next stage! Different cultures always mean that the shaadi will come with its set of learning. You see, in the arranged marriage folks have it simpler since everything is understood. But here, we learn so much more with each custom & ceremony. The culture exchange is awesome. It’s going to be chaotic for some, but its more fun to me.
Leaving the family you grow up with is going to be hard. Growing older in one house and lamenting about the color of the walls to moving to a different house with a complete new setup is coming up sooner than you think. You know the annoying neighbors will be replaced by a new set of people. The local shops where they know exactly what you need will be history, the learning curve will start again. Relatives. Enough said, will have their own set of good advice. Which with all due respect, you must keep for your own good. Most importantly, Smile. As the hours go by, I’m rather confused about what’s the big deal really with marriage? To me it seems like the start of a new chapter. The book’s the same, only that there will be more characters and more to explore as we branch out. A larger family to go back to, a richer cross culture learning and a lifetime of bliss cementing a nine year long relationship is what i’m looking forward to.
Minus the butterflies 🙂