10 Simple Ways to your Happy Space.

“Had a long day?” Sometimes that phrase gets the better of me. Simply put we all have 24 hours and everyone’s striving to do the best they can. However, there are days that just don’t seem to end. When your elaborate plans seem bleak and hope is not on the horizon. I’d say its just perspective, change it and you’ll see wonders. But, for the stubborn ones who are think they are better left to decide on their own, I have something for you:

1. Small Meals: Yes, eat less. That doesn’t mean take up to a diet or loose weight. I read somewhere that “One can never regret having eaten little”. So i thought let me put this to test. I have been trying this out for the past 2 weeks and its totally working for me. Every time i’m out, i see a large variety of foods and feel like trying most of them. By eating smaller portions and spacing it out, I’m able to try more and not feel guilty as well!

2. Create something: Anything. Just about anything. Now, I know some of you are not in to DIY / creative stuff. But, it doesn’t take much. Buy yourself a kit to guide you through making something interesting. Write more often, you will be surprising yourself soon. Sing, even if they laugh at you (ok, that doesn’t count as creation but its a start). If all else fails, simply order in food and tell them it was your idea.

3. Random act of kindness: I’m leading you here from the point above. How many times have we heard “sharing is caring”? I recently read that spending money on others gives people more satisfaction than spending only on themselves. Maybe that’s why charities trigger you to go on a guilt trip? In any case, doing small things for others not only makes you happy it also makes it worthwhile for others.

4. Flex those muscles: Stress getting to you at work? Stiff joints? The simplest solution is to exercise it off. Physical activity produces feel good hormones the same ones that leave you feeling refreshed after a workout. Long walks are helpful too. In fact that’s all i used to do back at my business school campus when i needed to take a break. Earplugs in, world plugged out.

5. Slow it down: I’m an avid admirer of Minimalism. I say admirer because i’m literally struggling to keep things at the bare minimum but i just end up giving in mostly. However, its great to slow down take a break and watch the world pass by you. I prefer doing this with a favorite track playing in my mind. Particularly in tough situations or uneasy travel, i try to find beauty in the chaos. More often than not, i surprise myself with the outcome. You can too! If all else fails, you can still instagram something somewhere.

6. Make lists: Bucket list anyone? Well, making lists is one activity that helps you put your thoughts in perspective an think about the good things. It’s something most multitaskers do and i think its an effective way to string it all together. No, you’re not a ‘Type A’ personality if you make a list.

7. Don’t speak unless spoken to: Now this one is only for the time you’re feeling low. Something elder say very often, ” If you can’t say something nice, then don’t say anything at all”. In case you have been asked something, think deeper before answering. I feel its important to have a deep conversation rather than small talk.

8. Shower: No, not just hygiene alone but showers can really pump the blood circulation level. We particularly feel more energetic and ready to take on tasks after a quick shower. So if melancholy takes up on you, head for a quick shower.

9. Mind Trip: Research has apparently proven that people are more happy when they are planning a vacation than the time when they are on it. I think the logic here is you plan thinking of all the good stuff you want to try out or adventure sport to take up. But once on the holiday it gets chaotic and you’re more worried about getting back home (did i leave the tap running?). So make plans more often, but ditch some as you go along.

10. Time the greatest teacher: Spend more time with family and friends. I think trying to explain this one would mean making small talk. We all know we need to spend more time with loved ones, but somehow end up getting caught with other things through the day. I reckon this is simple. Surprise family dinners are the easiest plugins to spread the love.

So these are a few ways in which i try to light up my day. If one doesn’t seem to get me too far, i do try a combination of the steps above. It always works. If there is something more that you feel i can add to this list, do comment. I’m all ears to soak it all up 🙂

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Does anything that’s broken really matter to you? {Paradox of Ship of Thesus}

Alright, the stem of these thoughts lay in the recent movie I saw called “Ship of Thesus”. Like any good cinema, its bound to push your buttons, pull those plugs that lay in the deep recesses of our minds. But this is not a movie review. I don’t want to be a spoiler, ’cause its a great movie and you owe to watch it. However, I felt the need to deep dive in to this paradox and try figuring it out.

So, what is the Ship of Thesus paradox? Simply put, the question asked is if a broken ship has its parts replaced then would it be a new ship or continue to be the same old damaged one. On the contrary if the broken parts were fixed and if a new ship was to be made of the same, would it be an old ship or a new one?

This situation can be applied to a multitude of aspects. Be it relationships, work, friends or personal belongings. In my opinion the purity or sanctity of something new has the very means of its existence. Think of the first expensive gift you received or something as emotionally charged as being in love. Now factor some unexpected and unwarranted situation that leads to damage. If you note i have picked up instances that are completely the opposite.

  • Your expensive gift (say a watch) is a physical object. Something you can touch, feel and assign a value to. Damage to this may leave you upset, but you can take it for repairs and wash away the guilt of not taking care of it. But would it be the same watch anymore? I don’t think so. It would constantly bother me and nudge me to know that there is some part of the watch that wasn’t its own self. Maybe it would just loose its value for me over time. Some people may regard emotional value to this. But we all know what they say about damaged clocks. Best to throw them away.
  • The first relationship you have been in. This one is highly subjective and based on emotions/feelings. Now this is the tricky one. You’ve felt the firsts of everything with someone. You thought they were the one. Then, someone moved too fast. The situation changed and perspectives differed so both decide to move on. Now, later when the other person comes back and figures way to correct the mistakes, there will be that part of you that constantly reminds you of the damage done. It pulls you back, holds and growls at you to not give in. Do things remain the same? I suspect, No.

This brings me back to the paradox. I don’t think this is any paradox in the first place. When my fiance explained the paradox for the first time over phone, I snapped “It can’t be the same ship!”. This is because I don’t see how people can grow and achieve or move on to greater things in life if they were stuck in the past. Everyone they say is broken in some way or the other. Each of us has faced dilemmas, made a choice and lived to regret or fulfill our own visions. So aren’t we fixing our own selves every day?

Every problem you faced, every heartbreak, every tear, every joy, every success has molded and changed you to be the best and strongest version of yourself. This makes it amply clear that the broken ship that’s fixed or the new ship made of repaired parts can never be the old ship. I read somewhere that the human mind works in denial. That we wake up to the most important thoughts that our subconscious throws up. So whatever we may have faced, endured or enjoyed has brought us to who we are today. There is no old/new because the world is ever-changing and to keep up, we will be adapting and taking on newer situations in life than be stuck in a version of ourselves from the past.

Is That Absurd?

Absurdity,
Is just your notion of the inner recesses of your mind,
Take your chances and let your imagination bleed.
Pour over the juices that rush through,
Seeping through to plant the seeds of harmony.
Bright lights make you come alive,
Striking across with the pace of a lightning bolt,
Skim the dark night to a white dawn.
Its not going to be pleasant.
Scattered skies wait for your mind to turn over,
Let the sun shine streak your hair.
A vacant hotel room with people in it,
Does that make you wonder,
If there’s something to hide,
in a secret life?
Pass through this life like a suitcase
That’s got no baggage on it.

Friendship | Love: The Thin Line

“Me too happy for our friendship, it doesn’t need to follow rules and regulations of relationship..” I see her typing away nonchalantly at what might be her only chance of raising her head above the daily chores that she seems to perform as the day passes by. Sitting partially dangling from a second class Mumbai local, in a olive salwar kameez and ruffled hair she keeps shifting. Sometimes between the words and sometimes between passerbys. I think to myself, those are two words I have seen together so many times. Rules. Regulations. It seems as if, there cant be rules without regulations. And without rules, what’s the point of regulations anyways?
But, it’s the words that precede and supersede them is what’s got me thinking out loud here. Friendship. Relationship. Such a painfully thin line is drawn between the two. The irony is they make a living mockery out of the togetherness of rules and regulations positioned together in the way She structured her feelings to the Charlie at the receiving end. Soberly quite and unassuming she brings out her tiny book of religious chants and begins to chant away the shlokas in a whispering tone. I lay my head back and begin to tinker with my own thoughts. It moves me, probes me this undeniable truth. The need for change, the need to belong, the need to be independent. Yet the yearning for stability. To come home to a sense of familiarity. What sets these feeling apart is the great divide, of human consciousness. The things we are told, beliefs as they unfold and the mental projections of what we popularly call perceptions. The way its all so true in flesh and blood. Scary it may sound, but the stillness of a mental state of bliss is hard to fathom by the ordinary.
So we engage and disengage in a river of chaos. Bleeding with in-sensitivities and passive shrugs, we look over and let go of our notions. It baffles me the selectivity of our nature. A streaming current pulls us along while we tug on the banks looking for a firm grip to find something or someone to hold on to. Some of us find that tiny branch, hold on to it with all our might all our lives. Yes, the branch maybe cranky, it seems weak and oh it could snap away anytime. But it’s the only living proof of stability that the wavering spirit is tying itself on to. Some of the more rebellious ones, choose to be carried along the stream and don’t believe in weak branches to tug around with. They take life as it comes. And people as they come too. These spirits in all the boisterous pleasantries are really overcoming demons of their own. They long to be twisted and turned along the current just to feel it in all its raw energy, pumping life in its entirety. But, oh dear spirit how far along will you go like this?
The chants get louder and pull me back. She chose to be the independent spirit, seeking comfort in a namesake relation while living in denial of what it truly means to be in a relationship. In a way, this is her own rebellion as she takes on something that is bigger than herself. The warm exchange of words goes on for quite a while as we traverse through the slums and gutters in Mumbai’s backyard that no one wants to see. A humid wind blows foul stench across the compartment and people sniff in disapproval. And I think, we’re disapproving our own ignorance. Shrugging it away passively. You see we choose to live within the stability offered each day in all its familiarity. This turns me to the women sitting right in front of me.
Married, overworked, sleepy with faint wrists and plastic bags. The dark circles tell a tale of sleeplessness, constant worries and disappointment. But yes, they choose to stick on to that familiar sense, however pleasing or revolting it may get. It’s a battle against the world within to keep up and keep it running. While I see a couple of art school girls, contemplating the latest trends I am reminded of change. And the reality of the entire scene hits hard. How the conscience oscillates between dualities that are so thinly defined. The boundary seems to blur out. In rebellion, independence and seeking out new experiences we have faded away as figments of our own imagination. Existing, breathing though not necessarily living. The pre-defined reality hits me hard and I question, where does true happiness lie. On either banks of the river or within the foamy water that pushes me away.
In the background, Thom Yorke sings out loud and It all connects instantly..
“If I could be who you wanted,
All the time,
All the time…..”